Upside down
by fullmoon01
Summary: Gail aged 21 and Chris aged 23 are a couple. Already being together for over a year Chris has to move for 12 months from Toronto to Ottawa to study psychology in order to become a detective. They decide to stay together and everything seems to be running well when suddenly a certain girl starts to attend crime-scene courses with Gail.
1. Chapter 1

_Hi people, I've been already planning for a long time to write a Gail/Holly story but it took me quite long to put my thoughts somehow into words. I hope you'll enjoy it :) I'd be very happy if you would leave a comment with your opinion after reading. As well maybe someone would volunteer as Beta as English is not my first language. There are so many people doing this Beta thing that I just couldn't decide who I should write to haha Thank you __ This is my first fanfic EVER so please don't be too hard with me ;)_

"_If I had wings like Noahs dove I'd fly the river to the one I love." (Mumford and Sons – Fare Thee Well)_

Gail was wondering if someone could know what was waiting not far ahead at a certain time, before it was actually going to happen. Speaking about that her boyfriend Chris surprisingly got an internship for psychology classes in one of the best schools in Canada. He wanted to become a detective and in order to reach that goal psychology classes were just necessary. The only problem was that the school was in Ottawa, a good 5 hours drive from Toronto. When he left a good three weeks ago Gail felt an ache of something she could not quite describe in herself. Maybe it was the ache of letting go something you really got used to, she told to herself as she let her feet tangling in the cold water of the river flowing beneath her. But how could she know what love meant if she was never really sure if she could bear the love she received? Maybe it was always too much, an overload of senses and she was just not the right person to be loved. Or maybe she was just being stupid and everything was fine and she was just looking out for a problem to keep her mind busy. Sighing with frustration Gail got up from her sitting position next to the river. From now on she just wouldn't allow herself to ponder all the time about things like this. Slowly she started walking home. It was a sunny and nice day and she wouldn't let herself destroy it. After all from tomorrow on she would start her second Semester in police academy which meant that she would finally attend the crime-scene courses she had been waiting for all year. She would probably never admit it but somehow Gail loved police school. She loved how she could get caught up in a case they were studying and how she would try to empathize with the committer as much as with the victim. She was fascinated by the fact that a police officer was actually in the position to see both sides in exceptional situations, situations that were based far away outside of the normal daily routine. It would be her job to save and to protect and it would be her job to find the most fitting solution and to get out the best that could be done. And maybe after this she would like to become a detective. Although this was another thing that she would probably never admit openly. So tomorrow she would attend crime-scene courses which meant that they would do as well excursions, played scenes and other exercises in practice. She had heard that they were supposed to get some students as well from university and other schools to come to the class. Being honest she was glad about this as she sort of needed to get to know some new people. She hoped it would help her not to miss Chris that much and some change in her routine would be nice too. Deeply in her thoughts Gail hadn't realized that she already reached her apartment. Now that Chris had gone she sort of felt lonely there. Her mum being a so called big cheese in the Ontario police force had somehow managed to get her a small apartment just a bit outside of town for little money. Connections to the city were good and the surroundings were safe and neat, so nothing to complain about, except from being lonely. The last few months before he had left, Chris had sort of moved in. His parents lived in another part of the country so it had been a good decision for both of them. They just shared the costs and organized their living. Of course there had been times when they were fighting and sometimes Chris even got irrationally jealous but in general they had had a good time together and got along very well. But you just do everything together and you sort of forget how to live your own life, Gail reflected deep in thoughts. She hadn't even realized that she had already reached the front door. Unlocking the door and climbing up to her apartment Gail called Chris talking with him about her day and after just went to sleep already curious about the start of the new semester.

_The day after_

Gail rushed to school. She had nearly missed the bus so she was still out of breath and sweating slightly when she finally dropped herself into the chair next to her friends Dov, Traci and Andy. Dov shook his head and snickered "Oh Gail you should really get up 5 minutes earlier and you wouldn't show up here all the time like a mess".

"I wish you a very nice morning as well, you better shut up if you don't want to be hit very soon!"

"Hey calm down Gail! I'm sure he didn't mean it like that, did you Dov? And hey come on, I'm so glad to see you, we haven't been out together like in ages!" Traci said. Andy just nodded "Yeah that's right, it's good to be here together again. We should really hang out anytime soon." Gail was for sure not the most outgoing person and she did know that, but it really made her happy that they still wanted to go out with her although she had left them behind a bit the last few months. Chris and her hadn't been out that often. "Yeah sure, that would be great, I'd love to go for drinks we should really have a blast!" she said.

Dov replied "Definitely, it's just a pity Chris isn't here but it will be good to be together again! By the way did you already see the people from University hanging around here now? Look, they are there in the front and chatting, maybe I'll get lucky with one of the girls. They are really fit!" For the first time since she had arrived Gail checked out the other people standing in the room. A bunch of university people was talking in the front, how Dov had so nicely pointed out. There were 4 people, 2 of them girls and 2 guys. The guys had a beard and looked a bit like hipsters. Gail wondered if that was some sort of University style. Maybe Chris had grown a beard now as well. The girls were looking ok though. One had really dark, long and a little bit curly hair and her style was a mix between elegant and sporty, she was sort of athletic as well she was talking to the other girl which Gail didn't find very special, giving her just a brief examination. She just had this smiley "oh I'm so sweet" face, which Gail really hated on everyone. The dark one seemed to have noticed that someone was looking, she turned her head and met Gail's eyes. She had really brown eyes Gail noticed before she quickly dropped her gaze to the ground. Quickly she started talking to her friends who were already deep in conversation again.

The bell rang and everyone sat down, and the dark haired girl and her friends took seats in front of Gail.

The lesson was mainly an introduction to what the course would contain over the Semester. It had been interesting, the following week they would visit a museum of criminology. Gail was already curious what there would be to see.

When they packed their things together her gaze fell again upon the University people.

Dov stepped forward and approached them "Hi guys how is it going? I'm Dov, just wondering are you from University? What do you think about the course?"

"Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Sam, yeah we are here to gain some extra points, I think it's really interesting, we could have some fun here, what do you think people?" one of the bearded guys said. He was quite handsome and had a confident smile.

The girl with the curly dark hair and the really brown eyes brought herself in "You're right, it seems that we made the right choice with coming here. It will be a nice change to our usual studies and by the way I'm Holly."

They started introducing themselves to each other, shaking hands, doing kisses on the cheek and saying names. Gail was sure she wouldn't be able to remember half of them in 5 minutes. Then Holly shook her hand and kissed her on the cheek "So, what's your name?"

Gail was shortly flabbergasted, Holly had not given her a kiss by just touching Gail's cheek with hers but she had actually pressed her lips on it.

"Um… I'm Gail" she stuttered.

"Nice to meet you Gail!", Holly gave her a lopsided smile that lit up her eyes.

Maybe she had given everyone a kiss like that and Gail just didn't notice she thought when it suddenly occurred to her that she was still holding Holly's hand. Quickly she dropped it.

"Yes, nice to meet you too."

_Later that day_

In the evening they found themselves sitting in The Penny. After class they had agreed to meet up for drinks and now they were here in Gail's favourite bar. Being out with new people for the first time was always weird but the group which had found together here seemed to fit together from the start. Gail liked the atmosphere. So "them" was Andy, Dov, Traci, Sam (the nice looking dark-haired guy), Nick (another cutie with blond hair), Chloe (who was talking non-stop in a high-pitched voice, apparently trying to flirt with Dov) and Holly. Holly was a thing on her own. She was funny and intelligent, she always seemed to know what to say and she laughed in such an honest way that Gail could not help it but admire her. Gail didn't "click with a lot of people but when she did she always knew that her feeling wouldn't betray her. Holly was a person like that, they were talking and laughing together and Gail was surprised how easily she was able being open with Holly. Gail even started telling her about Chris and how bad she felt about seeing him so very seldom.

"You know it's really hard for me sometimes, he complains a lot about me not being there and I always try to cheer him up, to tell him that we'll be together soon again but sometimes my optimism is just not enough. I wish he would be more optimistic but he's just sort of jealous and anxious about me meeting someone else."

Holly nodded "I know what you mean, I used to know a lot of people like that, mostly they are so scared about losing that they forget to enjoy the moment. It's a pity but if you can't open their eyes they won't understand."

"Yes, I just hope he will appreciate our relationship more, after all it was his decision to go there and of course I supported his decision but that's no reason to make me feel bad about it. He should be happy that I let him go and not turning it around by saying that I don't mind him being away."

"You know what Gail, life is complicated sometimes. You try to figure it out and you try to figure people out but in the end you just need to go with the flow. I don't know Chris but he sounds like a good guy and I'm sure you two will work it out. Just give it some time."

Gail felt much better after her talk with Holly. Holly seemed to know a lot about relationships, she seemed confident and as if she knew what she wanted. Gail was wondering if she was with someone but she didn't dare to ask. Probably it was rude to ask such personal things after knowing each other for such a short time. Sure, Gail had talked a lot about herself (considering her usual personality she felt as if even too much) but if Holly didn't come up with her story on her own, Gail wouldn't bring it up either.

They had a few more rounds of Tequila and beers before all of them went home slightly drunk and satisfied. Lying in her bed and about to doze off in a minute Gail told herself that the Semester definitely could continue like this.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

Dear amyantuanete thank you for your comment. Fate's still deciding what to do with Gail. ;)

Yes, maybe you might think I have too much time but I keep on pondering about things like Psychoanalysis. It's possible that I'm not right in some points and you could interpret it differently because, beware I'm not a professional. (+ I need a beta haha)

"_The essence of repression__lies simply in turning__something away, and keeping it at a distance, from__the conscious." (Freud, "Repression")_

Over the weekend Gail was going to visit Chris for the first time since he had gone to Ottawa. After 3 long weeks Gail was really missing his presence, although they were skyping it wasn't the same of course.

Anyway, it was just Thursday and she needed to survive these 2 more days until she could finally go there.

Sighing and leaning back in her chair Gail tiredly rubbed her eyes. She had just been trying to read over a long and difficult text about Psychoanalysis. They had been watching the classic movie "Psycho" by Alfred Hitchcock in class and now they had to write about Freud's theory which ran like a common thread through the whole movie.

Gail tried to summarize it shortly: The guy in the movie – Norman Bates - had been under pressure all his life by his old mother who constantly laid obligations upon him which he desperately tried to fulfil. While he probably couldn't match up to her expectations, she would forbid him as well to meet any women, telling him they were bad. A young and beautiful lady, who stole a lot of money, shows up by accident in his Motel and a figure in women's cloths kills her while she's in the shower. Norman is sure that it was his mother who killed the girl out of jealousy. He hides the girl's body in her car (which is packed with the money he doesn't know about) and dumps everything into the muddy marsh behind his house. The Film continues, Norman's mother apparently kills more people but in the end it is revealed that it was all Norman, dressing up like his mother and he's caught by the police. They investigate him, finding out that he has a split personality. Ten years ago he had killed his mother, mummified her and hid her body in the cellar, still speaking to her. In the last scene the car is pulled out of the marsh.

Gail looked at the facts. Freud's theory claiming that there was the ID, the EGO and the SUPER-EGO, she now had to put the film like a puzzle into the theory.

The ID meant the unconsciousness, the basic, instinctual drives of human beings seeking for pleasure. There was no organization in this deep, well hidden part of everyone's personality. Freud describing it as "… a chaos, a cauldron full of seething excitations", so this was Norman/his mother killing the girl out of pure pleasure to avoid the pain her presence brought to him.

The EGO which was Norman's developed rationality, trying to fit into reality. Freud called it "the man on the horseback, who has to hold in check the superior strength of the horse". That was on one side his mother - telling him what was wrong and what was right and on the other side it was him – covering up what his "mother" did and trying to bring reason over passion but in the end giving in.

The SUPER-ID – probably as well his mother – aiming for perfection. Norman wanted to be perfect; he wanted to do everything to live up to the standards he had set for himself.

Not only suffering from the Freudian Oediups conflict but as well having a split personality, Norman had to face the consequences of his doing in the end – the car with the remains of his crime being pulled out from the alleged untransparent marshes.

Gail sighed again. This was definitely not a happy story. Gail didn't know if Norman's mother had been very dominant when still alive but she could feel his pain on all of 3 levels. The film had surely been exaggerated, which was the point of it, but Gail could relate his feelings towards his ruling mother. On one side detesting her and on the other side loving her because being him _was_ being her.

She and her mother also had a problematic relationship, Gail never knew if she could fulfil the expectations her mother set her. The theory in general was surely interesting but Gail doubted that all of it could be true, though she'd love to know what was hidden in her ID if something like that existed…

Gail decided that this was enough studying for one evening. She switched on her Notebook, opening Facebook, when suddenly her phone rang. It was Chris.

"Hi how are you? Is everything alright? You didn't call or write me all day, I just wanted to check on you."

"Hi, yes sure I'm fine! I'm sorry, I was in such a hurry all day, I totally forgot about it. I'm ok actually, just really tired and worn out from school today. We were talking about Psychoanalysis in class. How are you?"

Chris voice changed from the anxious tone before to hurt "Oh right so you forgot… Well, I understand that there are more important things on your mind than me! Art there already any handsome university guys in your course?"

Gail was taken off-guard "Chris, please! You know exactly that that's not true, can you stop doing this, you know that I'm already looking forward to seeing you on the weekend!"

"Mmmh, so last week you didn't come because your mum told you to come over and you just couldn't say no and the week before you told me that I had to organize my room in the dormitory and you would come over the weekend after, which you, as I said, abandoned for your mum!"

Gail got angry "Don't be unfair now Chris, you know that I wanted to come and you know my mum as well, I just couldn't say no because if I did she would still remind me of it lying on her deathbed! I don't get you sometimes. Spare me with this, you know it's not easy for me as well!", trying not to sound as being on the verge of tears Gail quickly gulped down some water.

Chris voice changed again "I know, I'm sorry I don't know why I'm being such an idiot… It's just hard for me without you. I didn't meet any people here yet that I can relate to and you can still be around with all our friends plus I miss you so much… And you know that I can't travel so much at the moment"

"I know Chris, it isn't easy and I know that your financial situation at home doesn't allow you to go anytime you want to Toronto but your parents live an hour from Ottawa, I'm sure they can come to pick you up and maybe you can meet some childhood friends?"

Chris sighed "Yes, you are right, it's just so difficult with my mum being ill and I don't feel close to anyone of the people I knew before I went to Toronto. I was 15 at that time! But enough of that… Really Gail, did you meet any nice people yet?"

"Yes, there are some people from university, we went for a drink on Monday and they were all really lovely. Especially a girl called Holly. She's studying medicine but she wants to become a forensic pathologist and she's attending crime scene courses with us. We were talking to each other in class every day until now. I think I could use a new friend as well."

Chris said "Great! I'm glad. But it's already 11pm I think I'll go to sleep, I need to get up early in the morning. Talk to you soon love."

"Alright Chris, have a good night. Bye."

_The next day at school_

Gail was sitting as usually together with her friends when suddenly Holly dropped in the seat next to her.

"Hi, is it alright when I sit here?"

"Haha, you are already sitting here anyway. What do you want me to tell you?"

Andy said "Gail don't be so rude! Hi Holly, of course you can sit here, how are you?"

Gail countered "Shut it McNally, firstly that it is the place next to ME and not next to you and I decide who can sit there and secondly Holly knows that it was just a joke, don't you Holly?"

Holly laid her hand upon Gail's on the table and squeezed it "My dear Gail, I know that you wouldn't even dare to." Her eyes twinkled mischievously.

For a moment Gail was lost for words. Holly didn't pull her hand away. "Why's that so?"

"You would miss my super sparkling company and there would be nobody able to explain to you what was going on in class when you zoom out again. Yes, I saw that you do a lot of daydreaming officer Peck!"

Gail pulled away her hand angrily, realizing how oddly warm it had become under Holly's touch. She waggled it around in the air. "I don't do ANY daydreaming!"

Holly smiled "Don't get upset, it's ok I do it too sometimes. You can't deny it, I saw it."

"Oh so you are watching me or what!?"

"Maybe just a little bit, it's just funny to look at you, you seem to be on another planet sometimes."

Gail opened her mouth wanting to say that it wasn't true at all when the bell rang. She shot Holly a look and just said "So stop talking and concentrate on class if you are already such an I-know-it-all-Nerd.", and with that she demonstratively stared at the professor who had just appeared, showing or rather feigning undivided interest.

With her eyes fixed on the chalkboard she heard Holly chuckling quietly next to her.

The class went on without any bigger interruptions. Gail took notes, they would be finishing today on the Freudian theory. If it had been up to Gail they could have definitely talked more about it but unfortunately it was just a general introduction.

She leaned back a bit in her chair, her bare lower arm suddenly touching Holly's. Gail froze.

What the hell was going on, maybe Holly had fever that Gail felt so hot today whenever she touched her. She blinked once and then twice and gazed down again at their touching lower arms. The seats in the seating row were quite closely spaced so it was normal to bump together with someone now and then. Gail decided to leave her arm like that just checking how Holly would react. She didn't dare to look at her but she felt that Holly staring at their arms as well.

Goosebumps erupted from Holly's skin. Yes, probably she had fever and this was the moment when the physical feeling suddenly changed from hot to cold. Gail was sure.

Holly shifted but didn't remove her arm. Instead she leaned forward and stretched her fingers to reach for a pen. Gail was mesmerised, Holly's hands were fascinating. How didn't she notice that before? She couldn't precisely put a finger on what was so unique about them but she had always loved examining people's hands (although it was a weird hobby), and this ones were rather unique for sure. They weren't exactly feminine but manly neither, they more likely looked as if Holly could work very hard if needed to. Gail usually saw a similar type of hands on older people, who had dedicated their life to whatever they truly stood up for.

Gail noticed slight tingling where her skin touched Holly's and she was kind of delighted when the bell declared the end of the lesson and Holly somehow snapped out of her trance, withdrawing her arm.

Everyone stood up and started packing their things together. Just Gail remained like rooted in her seat. Traci touched her shoulder "Come on Gail we should go."

Holly was already gone. Nick, Sam and Chloe, who Gail hadn't even registered coming to class were still packing their things together in the row behind her.

Nick said "Hey, there's a concert outside in the park next to the Campus. Some bands are playing live music and as an extra there's cheap beer. Do you want to come? I guess Holly is already outside."

Gail finally managed to back her things together and they went outside.

While they were walking Traci linked her arm with Gail's "Are you alright Gail? You look a little bit pale."

Gail replied "Thanks Traci, I'm fine. I just feel dizzy. I don't know why. Let's go and see the concert, who's playing actually?"

"I don't know, come on lets go and see."

When they reached the field with the stage on which the band was playing, Gail detected Holly standing with Sam, already with a beer mug in their hands.

Gail sighed, when she heard the first sounds of music floating to her, a nice version of one of her favourite songs and just the passage she loved so much.

_Perfect summer's night  
You're the wind and breeze  
Just the bullets whispering, gentle amongst the new green leaves  
There's things I might have said  
Only wish I could  
Now I'm leaking life faster than I'm leaking blood_

They grabbed some beer as well and joined the others.

Tbc


End file.
